自得其乐

獨行俠

曲/詞/唱:藍奕邦 編:Terry Chan/藍奕邦 監:陳德建/藍奕邦

一朝早到晚鬧市內 與誰偶遇過
緣份到便坐下較量切磋 交錯純屬一種經過
多麽親厚最後也是要獨個去過
披風沙孤獨上路又如何

誰為了要撇掉單身的標籤參加派對
誰共舞過吻過喝掉兩杯偏更覺空虛
同伴死黨知己跟愛侶 怎會擔保不離去
還是靠自我驗證世間錯對

不需等一些不該等的閒人
不需當乞討關心的可憐人
既是要共寂寞同行
何妨變做個俠客 邁步前行
一息間多洶湧的人群
花火過後散落像微塵
獨個上路再做撇脫的自由人

單身漂泊歲月裡面鐵鞋也踏破
尋覓最愛卻又似沒結果 得到手又拚命拔河
捨己的愛到忘記自愛才算坎坷
懂得怎麽自處心便平和

懷著怨氣繼續唱孤單的心多悲與痛
而沒勇氣愛上兩袖裡邊爽朗的清風
誰做卑躬屈膝的傀儡 等某君施拾樂趣
無伴侶亦照樣會撐得過去

不需等一些不該等的閒人
不需當乞討關心的可憐人
既是要共寂寞同行
何妨變做個俠客 邁步前行
一息間多洶湧的人群
花火過後散可像微塵
還要繼續上路哪怕找不到護蔭

獨身都可快樂做人
何妨獨斷獨行
用一雙腳印來證實你極勇敢
脫軌的邊緣人 還是快活自由人
只差一線等你去區分

不需等一些不該等的閒人
不需把苦海孤雛演得傳神
再別怕共寂寞同行
何妨脫下那墨鏡 高調前行
你與我小得好比微塵
棲身這亂世之內浮沉
沿途各自上路去替生命留痕

1. 独行侠 (Soloist) by 蓝奕邦 (Pong Nan)
2. 倒带人生 (Rewinding Life) by 陈奕迅 (Eason Chan)
3. 太阳 (Sun）by 陈绮贞 (Cheer Chen)

去年许了两个愿,

一个当时就讲出来了,是希望社团一切顺利,这个应该算是实现了,

另一个现在可以讲了,是希望某人得到幸福,这个也确切地实现了.

今年我的愿望是...

同时成为负能量海绵+正能量发生器!

呵呵...准确地说是目标吧...

明白了...

Unlike the previous year, today was pretty much uneventful, but more real.

The first thing I did was to meet up with my supervisor. The discussion went on quite smoothly, no crushing of ego, just another new chunk of work to be settled in April. =P

After that, I had lunch with a friend of mine, who shared the same birthday as me. We were once really close but then drifted apart over the years. It was fun catching up with her. We talked about almost all kinds of topics, TV program, music, traveling, research, etc., except for relationship. Yup, except for relationship.

I headed home straight afterwards and spent the afternoon working out and playing guitar.

Too lazy to go out again, my dinner was very simple: instant noodles with sausages and vegetable.

My initial plan for the evening was to call home but mum called me first as soon as she got off work. The conversation was short, kind of uninteresting but warm and essential. I really can't thank her too much for bringing me into this world and giving me the best she would afford.

Subsequently, I made three more calls, one to my grandpa, which leads to a second call back to my mum, and, lastly, a call to my (god-)brother. Each made me see another complicated side of life. Not that any of them was any worse than what I had seen or heard over the years. But it hurts, really, to see them suffer and I could not even give them a hug, right here and right now.

Despite all the ups and downs in emotions, messages did come in intermittently to light up the day.

All of these -- friends, family, work and hobbies -- were part of my life and I experienced them all on my 26th birthday. What else can one expect?

This is life.

神经紧张,消化不良,

吉它断线仍无恙.

一切原自有定数,

甲乙丙丙,安然过渡.

对谱.

眼耳并用,

逐个音符,逐个段落,

从头到尾,从尾到头,翻来覆去,

两个小时,四个小时,六个小时,八个小时,

不断看,不断听,不断改.

但求于心无愧.

一年前遥不可及的，至少现在已经能大概握在掌心里。

一如风信子。

我拥有我的，姿态。

始终和吉他有着一点距离，让它没有办法像歌唱一样和我融为一体。

演奏会上钢琴手，萨克斯风手还有风琴手都在尽情尽兴地演奏着，我却还在为会不会弹错下一个音符忘记下一个和弦而焦躁。

那一刻，我突然很渴望我是歌手而不是吉他手。

有些心态，我还是要再调整一下。

已经不做买一所送的那个一很久了。

这样的促销方式，不但贬低了商品原本的吸引力，也抹杀了附赠品的独立性。

如果两者之间不是有密不可分的关系又或者是互补加成的效果的话，还是分开比较好。

日后各有所成自然皆大欢喜，万一今不如昔也至少互不拖欠。

所以，我就是我，不妥协，不自贬身价，不附赠高级乐器，过千乐谱，或是满座高朋。

我只有一双手，一些时间，以及一颗想要演奏好音乐的心。

请自便。

I do not really need an explanation, but some confirmations that you are doing well.

I know it is not possible or beneficial to keep you from all harms. I believe you, as an adult, are capable of choosing your own way to grow and taking the necessary risks.

So just stick to your goals and put in your best efforts.

Both gaining and losing can be part of your life but regretting should not be.

大年三十，他回来了，在和爷爷吵架并扬言不要再见面的两个月之后。

同行的还有她，一下子就把爷爷实行了十几年的鸵鸟政策彻底粉碎了。

在电话里听到她的声音的我，一阵恍惚错愕。

数小时后，值夜班的母亲，目睹了他们二人结伴逛花市的情景，默然地走开了。

很尴尬吗？大概吧。

但这一切已经不重要了。

不过是一个多年以来大家早己心照不宣的秘密，在一个本应是一家团聚的日子里回魂而已。

原来家有喜事韩国版用了枪战代替卡拉OK箍煲，和全剧的气氛不太搭但是分开看还是蛮有趣的。

2009版就快上映了，物是人非，事过境迁啊：

张曼玉周星驰如今是国际级巨星，关海山张国荣离世已有三五载，李香琴搭夏春秋尚可一看，但毛舜筠苦无对手不演也罢，黄百鸣个人喜感从来未见突出，郑中基古天乐又尚待琢磨，吴君如注定要独挑大梁，比较要命的是硬性规定一定要加入数名内地演员和展现祖国大好河山...

怀念以前真真正正的港产片。

但冲着“家有喜事”这个金漆招牌，这个场，还是要去捧一下的。

中奖...PSP 2000...分赃细节讨论中...

退稿...要重做Thesis Proposal...但有了更好的想法...顺势推掉一个更麻烦的工作...下个礼拜不用住在实验室...

这一次,从感染,潜伏,病发,到高危,稳定,痊愈,才不过是两三天的事情,和以前动辄数个星期的五劳七伤相比,算是有了很大的进步了.

我并不相信有顿悟这回事,一切改变都是一个漫长而艰巨的过程.

所以我明白不管过多久,某些感觉,就像是感冒发烧,永远都会在你没有防范的情况下突然来袭.

但总有一天,我会能够自如地应付的.

如同头发,长了,可以剪,短了,可以接,闷了,还可以漂,染,烫,电,直,焗,夹,实在不满意,干脆就大剪一挥一丝不挂从头来过.

没有什么大不了的.

Shall I start to write about research and music instead?

But given the fact that I am already writing a lot about my research as part of my work and most of them are not interesting to most people...l think I would leave it out to keep this blog interesting and about my personal life. =P

On the other hand, there are in fact quite a lot of things to write about music: e.g. my progress of learning, music making, performances, songs and albums...

Mmm...maybe this is the way out and I should start now.

(P.S. Just in case, this wave of writing is also partly caused by the fact that I'd been writing a lot lately for my paper deadlines, possibly not able to go home for a few days within the coming two weeks. My emotional turmoil is in fact quite mild and dry this time.)

我真不的明白。

因为我已经分不清楚有些事，究竟是别人的不是，还是因为自己做得不够好却有着过分要求， 才会如此惨淡收场。

如果我觉得是别人的不是，那么我算不算很自私? 何况，我真的有这种资格去作出这种判定吗？我自己本来就是一个满身缺陷的人。

如果问题是出在我的身上，难道我可以一笑置之？会否，在反复拉扯之间其实我也伤害了别人？我实在不想再给谁制造任何的烦恼。

所以，现在我选择一个人过。

不奢望些什么，就没有期待落空的一刻。

不靠近任何人，就没有矛盾冲突的可能。

伤口被撒了盐，就在这里宣泄一些怨念。

那表面的和平，就当是末世的残酷幻景。

一切都不过是，放不低的执迷。



快乐王子 － 蓝奕邦

如果我很想快乐
我也许找个人祈求被爱
或者我先要了解自己是谁
才知道我需要什么

王子满身的钻石
也要燕子陪伴慰解寂寞
若果连他都不懂得快乐
我更要自甘堕落

或者只需要那份单纯的爱
并非一身闪烁的金箔
或者一首音乐　加一杯可乐
已够我苦中作乐

连自己都不知我是好人一个
接受加冕都不知道为了什么
他给的爱我又如何装载
那算不算教人太悲哀

王子也很想快乐
静待燕子结伴畅游天国
若果人存在是为了互相伤害
我的爱不如丢进大海

(P.S. Yes...I always malfunction when it comes to interpersonal relationship. So choosing to live in solitude and minding only my own business, is probably the best solution.)

1) 男人同前妻讲:"呢排我手紧啊,不如你由今日起帮我养我同二奶生果个仔啊?距又乖又聪明,日后一定会好有出息嘎!"

2) 资深员工同老板请辞,老板话:"我仲有好多嘢要你做嘎播,乜你唔觉得可惜咩?"

(纯粹O嘴滴汗,请勿对号入座.)

I know I am too overqualified for that. That's why. =P

(纯粹O嘴滴汗,请勿对号入座.)

Ten days into 2009. A bit late but still better than having none I think. ^_^

10. Strive for better enunciation/pronunciation in all languages.
Reason: This stays because of lack of progress last year and I still find it thrilling to hear people speaking in a well-enunciated way with correct pronunciation. I think I need to include some exercises in the daily routine for this.

9. Better financial management
Reason: Saving up for my guitar and fifth year of school.

8. Exercise regularly to pump up major muscle groups and improve cardiovascular system. (1/3)
Reason: Both would become increasingly difficult as a person turns to 30 so let's get them done before then.

7. Write blog/songs to keep track of life, with the focus on the brighter side of life.
Reason: The depressed and cynical part in me had been strong but I shouldn't forget the other side of me.

6. Improve my Japanese, pass JLTP 2 (and go Japan) (1/3)
Reason: It turns out that it would be a lot easier/cheaper to go Japan from China, although the timeline would be quite complicated. Not sure whether will go for the trip this year but improving my Japanese is a must.

5. Learn to make a demo.
Reason: One of my long-overdue dreams.

4. Improve guitar/piano/vocal skill with the goal to be a fingerstyle pop/jazz guitarist, a fluent pianist, and a self-accompanied singer and pass Yamaha grade 6
Reason: This time round, it is for myself.

3. Plan more with proper time management and ensure smooth execution.
Reason: Critical for any resolution.

2. Spend more time with family and friends
Reason: Love

1. Make solid progress in research (1/3)
Reason: I WANT TO GRADUATE!

10. Strive for better enunciation/pronunciation in all languages.
Status: zzz...not much progress...

9. Exercise regularly to put on some muscles
Status: Well carried out for two consecutive years,could still be better though.

8. Write regularly to keep track of life
Status: Maybe a bit too much due to the major change in life style?

7. Improve Japanese and go for Japan trip
Status: Didn't succeed due to a lot of factors...U.S. trip, visa problem, guitar lessons, etc...sigh...but haven't given up though.

6. Make progress in research
Status: Had a great start with the successful paper submission but then became too distracted later. To regain the momentum this year.

5. Work on composing/arranging/conducting skills
Status: had composed one of the most satisfied melodies but didn't manage to work out the demo...nonetheless finally finished my first arrangement for the ensemble. The proofreading turned out to be the most painful part...Already quite comfortable with conducting. Need a bit more work...

4. Improve guitar/piano/vocal skill
Status: A lot of progress on guitar, some on vocal but a bit too little on piano.

3. Spend more time with family and friends
Status: Quite alright. Glad to see them moving on to the next stage of life. Really inspiring.

2. Make and stick to plans
Status: Nah...still not good at it.

1. Learn, learn, learn
Status: Hard to quantify. =P

About You

·  Your inquisitive nature, imagination, and hands-on practicality make you an EXPERIENCER.

·  Although you have an active imagination, you also concern yourself with the functional elements of things.

·  You are willing to experiment to find things that work the most efficiently.

·  Getting stuck in certain habits is boring to you—you'd rather find new experiences.

·  Accordingly, experiences are more important to you than objects—you'd rather spend your money and energy on events and adventures than on material things.

·  You like to contemplate a lot of options before making a decision, and you're willing and able to consider a lot of different angles to problems.

·  You're open to suggestions, and often rely on others to assess the merit of those suggestions.

·  You have an ability to see the big picture—not just how things are, but how they could be—in a variety of situations.

·  You're not afraid to let your emotions guide you, and you're generally considerate of others' feelings as well.

·  You prefer to have time to plan for things, feeling better with a schedule than with keeping plans up in the air until the last minute.

·  You have a strong sense of style and value your personal presentation - friends may even seek your style advice from time to time.

·  Generally, you believe that you control your life, and that external forces only play a limited role in determining what happens to you.

If you want to be different:

·  Have faith that your imagination and practicality will complement each other, and lead to good decisions on your part.

·  Take the initiative in seeking things out—don't wait for them to come to you.

how you relate to others

·  You trust others, care about them, and are slow to judge them, making you CONSIDERATE.

·  You value your close relationships very much, and are more likely to spend time in small, tightly-knit groups of friends than in large crowds.

·  You enjoy exploring the world through observation, quietly watching others.

·  Relating to others so well, and understanding their emotions, leads you to trust people in general, even though you're somewhat shy and reserved at times.

·  Your belief that people are generally well-intentioned contributes to your sympathy regarding their problems.

·  Although you may not vocalize it often, you have an awareness of how society affects individuals, and you understand complex causes of people's behavior.

·  You like to look at all sides of a situation before making a judgment, particularly when that situation involves important things in other people's lives.

·  Your close friends know you as a good listener.

If you want to be different:

·  Because other people would benefit immensely from your understanding and insight, you should try to be more outgoing in social situations, even when they make you uncomfortable. Others will want to hear what you have to say!

如若我　患了傷風　怕就怕你惹了我的咳嗽
連累你　發起高燒　跟我睡覺你也要分睡床
如若我　喉嚨腫痛　怎樣去唱你愛聽的歌韻
連累你　唇乾口淡　因要共我吃最淡的粥最青的菜

我不要做弱質病人　變一個負累你不幸
誰想有病　厭惡呻吟　我不要千金百銀
也祈求這小小的福蔭

我只想　身體健康　我害怕你要照顧我
擔心得出一臉倦容　而我病床中反悔內疚
令你太心痛　我只想　身體健康
要活到過百歲不需拐杖都可跟你相擁
不忍你勞碌的照料我　受了這種切膚之痛

如若我　跌斷雙腿　我就算去那裡你都跟我
扶著我　輪椅中坐　親我時你也要俯身彎腰
人漸老　耳朵失聰　怎樣去聽你說我多可愛
唯願我　牙齒堅固　可吃盡你炮製我愛的每款小菜

我會為你好好的保重　我怕病了等於失了寵
怕你嫌藥味太濃　藥褒太重　不知怎操縱

我只想　身體健康　看著你替我蓋被
窩心得心有點痛　得到你這般的愛護我
眼淚這刻難自控

~~当然很想时时身体健康,因为这样才能更好地爱护身边的人,但偶尔有些小病小痛,享受一下被人照顾的感觉,其实也是很浪漫的.